Wokefishing is when someone pretends to share progressive or socially conscious values to attract a partner who actually holds them. The profile says all the right things, the first chat hits all the right notes, and then the real opinions come out a few dates in.
It isn’t about someone being a bit less political than you. It’s about someone performing values they don’t have, because they’ve worked out that those values make them more attractive to the people they want to date.
Where the term comes from
Wokefishing is a mash-up of “woke” (being aware of social and political issues) and catfishing (pretending to be someone you’re not online). It came into wider use around 2020, when dating profiles started featuring political stances, causes and badges much more openly.
As apps added prompts and profile options for values and politics, it became easier for people to signal what they believed. That also made it easier to signal things they didn’t.
What wokefishing looks like
The giveaway is usually a gap between the profile and the person, or between the words and the follow-through.
- A profile full of causes, slogans or hashtags, but they can’t say much about any of them when you ask
- They agree with everything you say about a topic in a way that feels slightly too smooth
- Their views shift when you’re out with their friends, or after a few drinks
- They make “jokes” that contradict everything they claimed to believe, then say you’re being too sensitive
- They talk about respecting women, equality or kindness, but they’re rude to staff or dismissive of your friends
- Their social media tells a very different story from their dating profile
An example
Sam matches with someone whose profile mentions volunteering, a long list of causes, and “no bigots, please”. The early chat is great. They agree on everything.
On the third date, a news story comes up and the tone changes completely.
Them: Honestly I only put that stuff on my profile because otherwise I get no matches.
Sam: So you don’t actually care about any of it?
Them: I mean, I don’t care either way. It’s just dating.
That’s wokefishing in its plainest form. Not every case is this blunt. Often it comes out slowly, in small comments that don’t match the person you thought you were getting to know.
Why people do it
The most common reason is simple: it gets more matches. If someone notices that people they find attractive list certain values, copying those values is an easy way to look compatible.
Some people do it more casually. They don’t hold strong views either way, so they mirror whatever their date says to keep things smooth. That’s less calculated, but it still means you’re not seeing the real them.
In the worse cases, people use caring language to lower your guard. Presenting as gentle, respectful and “one of the good ones” can be a way to earn trust quickly, which is why it’s worth watching how behaviour matches the words. If you’re writing your own profile, our guide to writing a dating profile that gets matches shows how to stand out without pretending to be someone else.
Wokefishing vs catfishing vs kittenfishing
Catfishing is pretending to be a different person altogether, usually with fake photos or a fake identity.
Kittenfishing is a milder version: using old or flattering photos, or fudging your height or job, to seem a bit more appealing.
Wokefishing is about faking beliefs rather than looks. The person is real, the photos are real, but the values on show are borrowed. It’s closest to love bombing in one way: both work by telling you exactly what you want to hear early on.
What to do about it
You can’t read someone’s mind, but you can test whether their values hold up in practice.
- Ask open questions rather than yes-or-no ones. “What got you into that?” tells you more than “So you care about that too?”
- Watch behaviour over words. How they treat waiters, friends and exes says more than any profile badge.
- Notice consistency. Do their views stay the same when other people are around?
- Pay attention to how they react when you disagree. Someone with real values can discuss them. Someone performing them tends to get defensive or switch topics.
If something feels off, you can raise it calmly:
You mentioned on your profile that you volunteer. What sort of stuff do you do?
That comment last night didn’t sound like the person on your profile. What did you mean by it?
If it turns out they were faking it, you don’t owe them a debate. A short message is enough:
I’ve enjoyed meeting you, but I don’t think we’re on the same page about things that matter to me. Good luck out there.
Wokefishing is worth taking seriously because it’s a form of dishonesty from the very start. Our list of red flags in early dating you should never ignore covers other early signs that someone isn’t who they say they are.
Are you doing it?
It’s normal to show your best side on a dating profile. It becomes wokefishing when you list things you don’t believe or care about just because they seem attractive. If you’d be uncomfortable being asked about something on your profile, take it off. Being honest about where you stand saves everyone time.
FAQs
What does wokefishing mean?
Wokefishing means pretending to hold progressive, socially aware or caring values in order to attract a partner who genuinely holds them. The term blends “woke” with “catfishing”, because the person is presenting a false version of themselves, just in terms of beliefs rather than looks.
How can you tell if someone is wokefishing?
Look for gaps between what they say and what they do. Vague answers when you ask about the causes on their profile, views that change around other people, and “jokes” that contradict their stated values are all common signs.
Is wokefishing a red flag?
Yes, usually. It means someone was willing to misrepresent themselves to get a date, which says something about how honest they’ll be later. A difference in views isn’t the problem; the deliberate pretending is.
What’s the difference between wokefishing and just being polite?
Being polite means not starting arguments on a first date. Wokefishing means actively claiming beliefs you don’t hold. Someone who keeps their views to themselves early on isn’t wokefishing. Someone who invents them is.