Kittenfishing is the mild version of catfishing. You are still you, just a slightly upgraded version: photos from five years and a stone ago, an extra inch or two of height, “entrepreneur” for a side hustle that made £40 last year.
Nobody is pretending to be someone else. But when you meet in person and the reality doesn’t quite match, it starts things off on the wrong foot.
Where the term comes from
The word is a play on catfishing, which describes creating a fake identity online to deceive someone. A kitten is a smaller, less threatening cat, so kittenfishing is the smaller, less serious offence.
The term was popularised by the dating app Hinge around 2016, when it was used to describe the small exaggerations that were becoming common on dating profiles. It spread quickly because almost everyone had either done it or met someone who had.
What kittenfishing looks like
- Photos that are several years out of date, or only show your best angle.
- Heavy filters or edits that change how you actually look.
- Adding an inch or two to your height (a classic).
- Knocking a couple of years off your age.
- A glossed-up job title (“founder” of a one-person business that hasn’t started yet).
- Hobbies you did once (“loves surfing” after one lesson in Cornwall).
- Group photos where it is not obvious which one is you, because you are the least photogenic.
- Wearing a hat or sunglasses in every photo, which overlaps with hatfishing.
An example
Their profile says 6ft, shows a beach photo with a six-pack and lists their job as “marketing director”. You meet for a drink. They are lovely, but more like 5ft 9, the beach photo was clearly from university, and the job turns out to be a marketing assistant role.
None of it is a disaster. But you spend the first twenty minutes recalibrating, and you are left wondering what else was rounded up.
Why people do it
- Competition. Apps feel like a shop window, and people want to stand out.
- Filters. Some apps reward certain heights, ages or photos, so people round up to get past them.
- Insecurity. Using an older photo can feel safer than showing how you look now.
- Everyone else does it. If you assume other profiles are exaggerated, you feel you have to keep up.
- It doesn’t feel like lying. An inch here or a few years there feels harmless when you are writing it.
Kittenfishing vs catfishing vs hatfishing
Catfishing is using a fake identity: someone else’s photos, a made-up name or a completely invented life. It can be used for scams and is a real safety issue.
Kittenfishing is the same person, just exaggerated. Annoying and a bit dishonest, but not usually harmful.
Hatfishing is a specific kind of kittenfishing: wearing a hat in every photo, often to hide a receding hairline or a bad hair situation.
There is also peacocking, which is showing off to stand out. That can be honest (it is really you, just loud), whereas kittenfishing involves stretching the truth.
What to do about it
If you have been kittenfished
Decide whether it actually matters. Lots of people turn out better in person than their photos suggest, and some exaggeration is close to universal. If the gap is small and you like them, let it go.
If it was a big gap, or the dishonesty bothers you, it is fair not to see them again. You don’t need to explain in detail:
Thanks for the drink, but I don’t think we’re a match. Take care.
If you want to address it lightly on a date, humour works better than an accusation:
So, is that photo from this decade or are we being generous? 😄
If you think you might be doing it
Fix it, because it costs you more than it gains. The whole point of a profile is to get a date with someone who likes you when they meet you.
- Use photos from the last year or two. Our guide to the photos that work best on dating apps shows what to aim for.
- Be accurate about your height. If you are unsure whether to include it at all, read should you put your height in your dating profile.
- Describe your job plainly. “Works in marketing” is fine.
- Mention hobbies you actually do, regularly.
Confidence in how you actually look and live is more attractive than a polished version that falls apart over the first drink.
FAQs
Is kittenfishing the same as catfishing?
No. Catfishing involves pretending to be a different person entirely, often using someone else’s photos. Kittenfishing is a real person exaggerating details about themselves. It is much less serious, though it can still put people off.
Is it kittenfishing to use filters?
Light edits like fixing the brightness are normal. Heavy filters that change your face shape, skin or body are kittenfishing, because the person turning up will look noticeably different.
Is lying about height kittenfishing?
Yes, it is one of the most common forms. Adding an inch or two is very common and also very easy to spot in person, so it usually backfires.
How old can dating profile photos be?
As a rule of thumb, use photos from the last year or two, and make sure they still look like you now. If your hair, weight or style has changed a lot, update them.