Catfishing is when someone pretends to be a different person online, usually with stolen photos and a made-up name, job or backstory. They build a relationship with you under that false identity. Sometimes the goal is money, sometimes attention or revenge, and sometimes it is someone too insecure to show their real self.
It is not the same as using a flattering photo from a few years ago. Catfishing means the person you think you are talking to does not exist.
Where the term comes from
The term comes from Catfish, a 2010 documentary about a man who discovers the woman he has been in an online relationship with is not who she claimed to be. In the film, someone tells a story about catfish being put in tanks with cod to keep them active, and compares that to people who keep others on their toes. The film led to the MTV series Catfish: The TV Show, which investigates online relationships, and “catfish” quickly became the standard word for a fake online identity.
What catfishing looks like
One or two of these on their own can be innocent. Several together should make you cautious.
- Their photos look professional, like a model or influencer, and there are very few of them.
- They always have a reason they cannot video call: broken camera, bad signal, shy, working abroad.
- Plans to meet keep falling through at the last minute.
- Their social media is new, very sparse, or has few real interactions with friends.
- Their story has small inconsistencies, like jobs, ages or places that do not quite add up.
- They move the chat off the dating app quickly, often to WhatsApp or another messaging app.
- Things get intense fast, with big declarations before you have even met.
- At some point there is a crisis: a medical bill, stuck abroad, a frozen bank account, and they need money.
An example
You match with someone whose photos are stunning. The chat flows, they message every day, and within a fortnight they are saying they have never felt this way. Every time you suggest a video call, something comes up:
My front camera is broken, I’ll get it fixed this week I promise
Can’t wait to actually see you properly x
A few weeks later:
I’m so embarrassed to ask but I’m stuck at the airport and my card’s been blocked. Could you lend me £300? I’ll pay you back the second I’m home
That combination of no video, fast intensity and a money request is the textbook romance scam version of catfishing.
Why people do it
Motives vary a lot, and not all catfish are scammers.
- Money. Romance fraud is the most damaging form, and often run by organised groups.
- Insecurity. Some people feel they would not be liked as themselves, so they borrow someone else’s face.
- Attention or loneliness. The connection feels real to them, even if the identity is not.
- Revenge or bullying. Occasionally someone uses a fake profile to mess with a person they know.
- Exploring identity. Some people use a fake persona to explore their sexuality or gender privately.
The reason does not change the impact. You were not given the chance to consent to a relationship with the real person.
Catfishing vs kittenfishing
Kittenfishing is the milder version: it is really them, but with old photos, heavy filters, a few extra inches of height or a slightly upgraded job title. Catfishing is a whole fake identity. There is also hatfishing, where someone wears a hat in every photo (often to hide a receding hairline), and wokefishing, where someone fakes their values rather than their face.
What to do about it
A few simple checks will catch most catfish before you get emotionally or financially invested.
Practical safety checks
- Reverse image search their photos. Use Google Lens or TinEye on a screenshot of their pictures. If the same photos show up under a different name, or on a model’s Instagram, you have your answer.
- Video call before you meet. A short video call is a normal ask. Someone genuine will say yes within a few days. Repeated excuses are a big warning sign.
- Never send money. Not for travel, emergencies, visas, investments or gift cards, no matter how good the story. Treat any money request from someone you have not met as a scam.
- Check their wider footprint. A real person usually has some online history that matches what they have told you.
- Meet somewhere public and tell a friend where you are going.
Messages you can send:
Before we meet, fancy a quick video call this week? I always do that first
I’m not comfortable sending money to someone I haven’t met, sorry
If you think you are being catfished, stop sending anything personal, report the profile on the app and block them. If money is involved, contact your bank immediately and report it to Action Fraud (in the UK) or your local police. Being fooled is not a sign you are stupid. These people are often very good at it, and it is worth talking it through with friends or a professional if it has knocked you.
For more on what to watch for in the chat itself, see our list of red flags in texting you should watch for, and our honest take on whether dating apps are actually worth it.
FAQs
What does catfished mean?
Being catfished means you were tricked into an online relationship with someone using a fake identity, usually with stolen photos and a false name or backstory.
How can you tell if someone is catfishing you?
The biggest giveaways are refusing to video call, plans to meet that always fall through, very polished photos with few candid ones, and any request for money. A reverse image search on their photos is a quick way to check.
Is catfishing illegal?
Pretending to be someone else online is not automatically a crime in itself, but catfishing often involves things that are, such as fraud, harassment or impersonation used to get money. If you have lost money, report it.
What should I do if I’ve been catfished?
Stop contact, block and report the profile, and do not send anything else. If you sent money, call your bank straight away and report the fraud. Then give yourself some grace, it happens to a lot of people.