If you want to know how to get more replies on dating apps, stop sending “hey” and start giving people something to respond to. Reference their profile, ask an easy question, and keep it light. A good opener is specific, low-effort to answer, and shows you actually read their profile. That alone beats most people out there.
The whole question of how to get more replies on dating apps usually comes down to one thing: your opening message. Most people send something so generic that there is simply nothing to reply to. “Hey” and “how’s your weekend” give the other person zero to work with, so they swipe on or forget. You can do far better with barely any extra effort.
Getting replies is not about being the wittiest person on the app. It is about making it easy and appealing for someone to write back. Here is how to do exactly that.
Why “hey” never works
A one-word opener puts all the work on the other person. They have to invent a reason to keep talking, and most will not bother.
Think about it from their side. They probably have a stack of “hey” messages sitting unanswered. Yours blends straight into that pile. Anything generic gets lumped in with the low-effort crowd, and low effort rarely gets rewarded. The fix is to give them a clear, easy hook to grab.
Reference their profile
The single most effective change you can make is to mention something specific from their profile. It proves you actually looked, and it hands them an obvious thing to talk about.
If their photos show them hiking, ask where the trail was. If they mention a love of terrible reality TV, confess your own guilty pick. Specificity does two jobs at once. It flatters them slightly by showing you paid attention, and it removes the burden of working out what to say back. Hinge clearly believes in this too. According to the app, adding a thoughtful comment to a like rather than just liking can roughly triple your chances of matching. The same principle applies to opening messages everywhere.
Ask an easy question
The best openers end with a question that is genuinely easy to answer. Not heavy, not interview-style, just an open door.
Strong, low-effort questions include:
- “Okay, settle a debate, is a hotdog a sandwich?”
- “Your trip photos are unreal, where was that beach one taken?”
- “I see you are a fellow dog person. Name and breed, please, this is important.”
- “Pineapple on pizza, yes or no? Choose carefully.”
- “That bookshelf in photo three. What is the last one you actually finished?”
Each one is playful, specific, and takes two seconds to reply to. That low barrier is the entire point.
Keep it light and short
Long, intense opening messages tend to overwhelm. A wall of text on the first contact is a lot to land in someone’s inbox.
Keep your opener to a sentence or two. Warm, a little playful, and easy to bounce off. You are not trying to win them over in one message. You are just trying to start a conversation, and conversations are built one easy exchange at a time. Once they reply, how to keep a conversation going over text helps you carry the momentum.
Make sure your profile earns the reply
Here is the part people forget. Even a brilliant opener struggles if your profile gives them nothing to feel good about replying to.
Your matches will glance back at your profile before deciding whether to answer. Strong photos and a bio with a bit of personality make that glance land in your favour. If your profile is thin, sort that first. How to write a dating profile that gets matches covers the essentials, and once replies turn into chats, how to convert matches into dates helps you actually get off the app.
Wrapping up
Getting more replies on dating apps is mostly about effort that most people are not making. Ditch “hey,” reference something specific from their profile, and finish with an easy, playful question they can answer in seconds. Keep it short, keep it warm, and make sure your own profile gives them a reason to bother. None of this requires being clever or smooth. It just requires reading the profile and writing like a real human, which already puts you ahead of the field.
Quick summary
- “Hey” fails because it puts all the work on the other person.
- Reference something specific from their profile to show you actually read it.
- End with an easy, playful question that takes seconds to answer.
- Keep openers to a sentence or two, warm and light.
- Hinge says adding a comment to a like can roughly triple match chances.
- A strong profile makes people far more likely to reply to your opener.
Why am I not getting replies on dating apps?
Usually because your opening messages are too generic. A simple “hey” gives the other person nothing to respond to, so it gets ignored. Referencing their profile and asking an easy question gives them a clear reason and an easy way to reply.
What is a good opening message on a dating app?
One that mentions something specific from their profile and ends with a light, easy question. For example, asking about a place in their travel photo or their take on a fun debate. It shows you read their profile and makes replying effortless.
Should my first message be funny?
A little playfulness helps because it makes you approachable and easy to bounce off. You do not need to be a comedian. A warm, specific, slightly cheeky question works better than trying too hard to be hilarious or sending a heavy, intense paragraph.
How long should a first message be?
Short. A sentence or two is ideal. A long, intense opener can overwhelm someone and feels like a lot to respond to. The aim is simply to start a conversation, which is built one easy exchange at a time.
Does my profile affect whether people reply?
Yes, a great deal. People glance back at your profile before deciding whether to answer. Strong photos and a bio with personality make them far more likely to reply, so it is worth getting your profile right alongside your opening messages.
